The Crash Landing Christian....One extroverts story

Are you an Extraverted Christian? Are you an Empathic Christian? Are you Both?????

I personally am both. Let me let you in on a little secret. When you are both, and you are just discovering your spiritual gifts you have an issue with a LITTLE thing called Boundaries. I would get all up in your business  and make those things mine to carry. I was going to carry all the world’s problems. Holy Bajeetters did I burn out fast! Oh and seriously scared the crap out of more than a few Introverts. I was a crash landing Christian. My intentions were good, I was going to bring in the rescue plane. However, My execution…. BOOM, SMASH,CRASH Landing!!!! I burnt out myself and sometimes the person I was “helping”.

I may try to live like Jesus but by golly, I do not have his bandwidth.

Let me provide a few examples:

#1:The Thinker

I started a new Singles Group in January and was so very excited. I even said out loud “ I just want to love on you all” in our first meeting. SCARY!!  It was a diverse group of people. Talkers, Quiet, Opinionated, Anger, and Happy. I was hyper focused on the quiet and the angry because I was certain if I pushed just a little harder or loved a little more they would be cured. I of course, know now that spiritually mature introverts are not to be cured, yet they  to be admired and that once you take your TIME and quietly (most of the time, I’m still me) pursue there is a greater chance they will trust you.

I had one member who was very pensive, stoic, and did not speak a word. This intimidated me yet intrigued me at the time which caused me to push. I remember him saying to me in a not so nice tone “why do you keep asking me”. I thought I was doing good, that I was doing the right thing, not so much. He accomplished his goal and I backed off, then he left our group for a while. But he taught me a valuable lesson, some people do not need a crash landing they just need time. I pursued him to come back slowly, with a bit of sarcasm which he appeared to appreciate. Six months later he returned and is someone I call friend and am greatly honored that he calls me the same.

#2 The Great and Wise- Not to be referred to as an onion  

I began building a friendship in December with a glorious woman named Lynette. She heard me give my testimony and ran over and said “ I heard you and thought I love her” in her big beautiful voice. Unbenounced to her I had boundary issues and a horrible filter. We talked more throughout the Spring semester and became friends as we are decently alike. One day when she had told a new simply raw part of her story in Remedy I walked up to her afterwards and said “You are my favorite onion”, she smiled and hugged me back. What I meant by this was that with each new part I learned from her I loved her more because of the strength and dignity that she walks around this world with. What she heard was “you are my favorite project” because well honestly, who calls someone an onion, right?

Lynette did not on purpose avoid me but as an empathic person I could feel something wrong so I asked her. She said to me, “Honestly, I’m not sure what you want out of a friendship with me” and told me that my onion comment was super weird (I can hear her voice when I say those words), which it was. I clarified my odd onion statement and explained that she was just a great human. I backed off a little bit and now with space and TIME our friendship continues to grow. We can have fierce conversations and tell each other crazy honest truth that you can only hear from someone who loves you.

These are just 2 examples, I chose them because one was from in introvert view, and the other was an extrovert. However, in both instances I crash landed on them way before it was my time. Do not get me wrong, I will absolutely crash in on both of them now, because now they know me enough to know I just care for them a lot. But they taught me valuable lessons regarding going in too fast, too hard, or too deep in new relationship.

My fantasy of healing the world  and carrying its burdens came to a head in this past spring. I was leading small group at Women’s retreat which was so awesome because so many women shared their burdens with me. God used my mouth to say some pretty amazing things. However, I was also volunteering to be many other places during this event and never had alone time until the very end for 1 hour. I was burnt out, lost as to why something so relaxing including volunteer opportunity that I thrive at was causing this discouragement I felt.

Then it hit me!!! I am not God. I am not meant to carry the burdens of others. I can hear them, feel them, comfort the people behind the burdens. But then it is my job to give it over to God, no hold onto it. In the last 6 months I have learned this and it has been life changing. I can serve, help, and listen to more people than ever before because I release it to God and then feel refreshed and renewed vs drained and discouraged.

Have you been Crash Landing in people’s lives? Speaking before thinking? Forgetting not to carry the world’s burdens?  (Matt 11:29) Empathy and being an Extrovert can be huge blessings when we take the time to slow down and let God lead us. When we take the time to go at his pace along with respecting the boundaries of others/ and ourselves. Which friendships can you take a step back to talk to God about to be sure you are being a blessing in the lives of others whereas now it feels like you are trying and trying but getting nowhere?

Love others with all your heart you Empathetic Extroverted Christians… Just try not to love them with all your loud mouth:)